What kind of animal would you be, if you could be any animal?

I’d be a bear. Think about it. Bears are like the honey badger, before the badger was a guy who didn’t give an F. Bears binge eat, binge sleep, kill anything they want and are never hunted. Plus they have fur that keeps them cozy and claws that keep them deadly. Bears don’t care what you, or anyone else thinks.

What do you think is your biggest weakness?

Mortality. Hands down, the fact that I can die makes me super vulnerable to well, dying.

If you could only do one thing for the rest of your life what would you do?

It would probably involve eating. See bear answer for reference.

If you were a car, what kind of car would you be?

I’d be a big truck with about a thousand wheels, zebra stripes and a bedazzled hood. Because if you’re not going to make a statement, what are you going to do? (#YOLO?)

If you could be any book character, which would you be?

I would be Katniss Everdeen’s badassery with Jane Eyre’s eloquence and Elizabeth Bennett’s ever after.

Where do you see yourself in five years?

If I could see myself in five years I would have the gift of prophecy. If I had the gift of prophecy I would probably be out and about giving people vague fortune-cookie fortunes — “Something irreversible is about to happen,” “You’ll learn in a few minutes,” and “What you lost will be found.”

-Dani Nicole

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